the night

hey everyone its me again, back with something amazing that happened to me the other night that you would not believe. this last Wednesday i went to this church called "central assembly" really big church and i really enjoyed the youth service they had it really reminded me of my church back home, i could just see the same type of kids and the core group of kids loved jesus so much and you could tell just by looking. One of the things that was a lot different about it was they have their own building it was so amazing. i would almost say that it was one of the most inviting places i have been in a long time, just how it was setup just looked inviting.
the thing that really shook was not until after the service when i was sitting in my room, doing a speech that i really had no idea how to do, i started to get really frustrated and thinking "oh man i cant do this and if i cant do this how am i even going to get through college" i have never really been an amazing student but i try my hardest i began to think i was not cut out for this school and god could not use me at all. as i sat at my laptop thinking these things i just put my head down and started to cry my eyes out. no matter what i did i could not get it out of my head. i tried to talk to a friend from back home and he really encouraged me and challenged me at the same time with scripture. it really helped but i still couldn't get over it i had no idea what to do i had never felt this way in my life. i started to compare myself to other people and how other people because im not gonna lie i really don't have a lot of talent in anything, which now im ok with but then it just killed me. i decited to go down to a friends room and talk to him about it and i could hardly talk with out breaking down i didnt understand why i felt this way and what was going on with me, i needed prayer
they prayed for me and it helped and i talked with those guys for a while then finally decited to go to bed. it was still really heavy on my heart and all i could do way pray to god and ask him to take it away
the next day i walked around like i just had a sibling die or something i couldnt help but feel really bummed. but that day at chapel we had one of the most awesone speekers his name was mark batterson and i just remember him talking about feeling like you cant measure up and all this other stuff and i knew it was strait from god. i went to the alter and cried some more. that was pretty much it then i went back to me room and sat there thinking about what was going on.
god was doing something in me i didnt understand. i prayed for him to show me what was going on and he gave me this verse
(Heb 13:6) So we can confidently say, "The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?"
this verse made me realize that the lord is my only way i can do anything without him i am nothing but rags. i have always agnolged that yeah god will have his way and he can do anything but i never realized what taht really ment i had never had that revalation. rigth then i realized. he saved me, he brought me here, and he will get me through. its the only way
i beleve that god has a clling in my life. i haveno idea how im gonna get there of what he is going to use me for but i do know that without him i can do nothing.